DeadAlive
by lyn89
Summary: So this was what it truly meant to die, to be forgotten.


Title: DeadAlive Author: lyn89 E-Mail: Feedback: If it's not too much trouble just be gentle.  
Archive: Sure, just let me know.  
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. Let's skip this broken record.  
Rating: PG

Spoilers: Post-Requiem

Keywords: ScullyAngst Author's Note: This is the asked for sequel to "AliveDead". I'm almost certain this is not the sequel most expected, but I hadn't anticipated that "AliveDead" would have a sequel. That being said you probably won't appreciate this story as much if you haven't read "AliveDead" first. (It's at Goss.) Fair warning, as much as I love happy endings, this is not one.  
Acknowledgment: I would like to thank Dr. Agent for all of her wise words and support. You are wonderful!

Summary: So this was what it truly meant to die, to be forgotten.

-x-

Dead

-x-

He'd called an ambulance. A futile attempt, he knew that much, but what else could be done. Never had he expected the quest for his missing agent to end so abruptly. Like a cheap movie with a bad ending, his death was just as meaningless. In the end the only legacy left behind was that only fools dare trudge into the depths of the unknown; to find nothing.

Nothing.

Mulder was nothing now. He held the slowly stiffening body close to his body. Nothing was all that could be done for him now. But he wasn't a stranger to death. He'd seen it, been in it's company several times. The one difference was that he had refused to stay in its company, Mulder had no choice. What was it really to die? Did it matter?

In both life and death, Mulder was undignified. Lying on the streets like an empty shell, there was no dignity in that. Now what, what could be done? It was hopeless.

The chimes of death drew closer until they reached Skinner and his dead companion.

He was removed from the wet cement. The care the paramedics had in his corpse was equivocal to that of brush being discarded into the furnace. How quickly things change. One moment he is human, the next Mulder becomes biodegradable fertilizer.

He started watching them place Mulder's covered body into the ambulance. So this was what it truly meant to die, to be forgotten.

-x-

He should have known this would have happened. Another mix-up, another screw up. 'But unfortunately Mr. Skinner we have lost John Doe's body. We apologize and will be on the lookout for his body.' Just how, he wondered, does one remain on the lookout for a body? Perhaps he'll just walk right on in to the morgue, apologize for going missing, but he had to go and feed his fish. He smirked, that actually did sound like something Mulder would do.

His thoughts drifted to Scully. She had never even been given the chance to see his body. Maybe it was better that way. To have her last memories of him being happy, healthy, and alive. The dead shouldn't be remembered as dead. Perhaps it was a mixed blessing. Still he would watch over Scully and remain vigilant that he would find Mulder's body. What more could They want from a dead man? Unless, dead men did indeed tell tales.

-x-

Alive

-x-

"Alright class, let's all move towards the lab where I will begin the demonstration on how to conduct an autopsy."

Slowly both she and the fellow students shuffled into the tight metal room. Lab was probably not the best definition but she was fortunate just to get out of the basement. True the X-Files would always be her true place, but it amazed her just how crowded that small office can be with just one woman and several cabinet files full of memories. Memories that were too painful for her.

She had held on to the bitter and empty end. It was indeed empty. No body and no Mulder. It was painful to just take Skinner's word that her partner and her life was dead.

She watched the students' eyes as they gazed at the cloaked cadaver. Some in anticipation and some who had a hint of anxiety. Surely this wasn't their first body, but it didn't matter. This one appeared to be much taller than the usually donors, Adams had informed her that she was lucky. The vagrant appeared to be in the prime of his life, and yes it was indeed male. Although it might appear to be in bad taste, there were preferences when it came to what Dr. Scully preferred, and she found that both she and her students had a much easier time with male donors. This time, she anticipated, would be no different.

Preparing for nothing, she flipped back the sheet to reveal the newest donor given to Quantico. It was him.

Bruises that never healed splotched his grayed flesh. His fingers were slightly curved, several fingernails were split and yellowed. It was death in its cruelest form, not bothering to be sincere choosing instead to completely engulf his body. Death ravaged his flesh, tightening around his joints sucking away the sap of life, clawing away at his face leaving only shadows.

How could she go on? Never had she thought such a cruel predicament would devour her, leaving her defenseless. She managed to move herself towards his lower extremities to the identification marker left for her. Her nails scraped against the metal slab, clutching onto the small manila sheet.

There it was. Approx. Time of Death: 56 hrs. The hour at which she might as well have been considered deceased upon hearing the news from Skinner. Was it a trick, did They want her to admit defeat? To give her one last kick while she was down, one last laugh in her face? What could she do? In some sick way this was an acknowledgement of their defeat. The X-Files was closed, shut down as a result of her desire to do so. No, it wasn't their defeat, it was her own. She had failed, Mulder hadn't.

"Dr. Scully? Is everything alright?"

She hadn't known who had said it but she didn't care. If she had one fragment of sanity lost she might have chosen to have performed the autopsy on the student instead. It was a radical and awful though, she knew. She was losing herself.

The ground below her shifted and moved. Gravity left her and her body felt weightless. But the weight of her heart tripled. This is what They wanted. In the end she was doing what They wanted her to do all along.

No! She would not allow for Them to take it all away. For her epithet to be that in the end she accepted defeat and gave in to the enemy. How disgusting, to think They had expected her to tear away at her partner. To leave his body even more torn and mangled that it had been before he was brought to her.

She clasped the handles of the gurney lowering her head, she couldn't face them, not now.

"Leave."

"What?"

Still, she refused to look up.

"Leave. And one of you, please tell Dr. Adams to call Assistant Director Skinner."

There was no movement, the air thick, and the students remained.

"Go!"

For the first time in three months, they were finally alone together. It was sickening; one alive, one dead. Still they were together. Finally she released what she had refused to let others she. Her pain and agony. Her loss and love.

Her body lowered, knees touching the tiled floor, and she remained at eye level to him. If only he could open his eyes to her. Slowly, she raised her hand and curled it around his cheek attempting to move his head towards her. To be able to face him one last time, was all she wanted. His neck had stiffened from the rigor mortis and refused to bend, even for her. Scully had always wanted what she could never have.

It was absurd but her desire to be with him stretched leaps and bounds. An ache deep inside her begged for her to lay next to him, to wrap her arms around his stiff shell.

'As if shear will would bring it back to life.'

Why? Why do we have to die? Why can't we live just to live?

She pulled herself up. There was nothing more she could do. The time in her life that she had once compared to an Ouroboros devouring itself in a never-ending cycle, was in truth when she was running forwards in strides. Despite the pain and the deaths of so many, those were the happiest times of her life.

But now, now she was in an endless cycle. Death was something she was all too familiar with. It was life now that came into question. What did it mean to be alive? Is life really just as meaningless and ridiculous as it appears to be?

She couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Lost in the darkness, she remained still, no light to show her the path to moving forward.

Then it showed itself to her.

It was small. What had initially been thought of as one of the many small bruises that plagued his small body appeared to be something more. She forced herself closer towards the decaying and stiffened flesh.

There it was: the truth, the faith. The small imprint of her crucifix tagged his body, branding him hers forever. Though the necklace she'd given him was long gone, lost in the oblivion that had claimed him, the faith remained.

Their faith, in each other.

It was the truth, it lit the way to only one right path.

Though dead Mulder still held many truths. They would not win. If it meant walking into the darkness or to die herself, she would not let Them win.

Skinner would be here soon, and they would talk. They were running out of time. The date was set.

-x-

Finish

End Notes: Yes, I know Mulder died and the ending seemed almost bleak and open-ended. But thus is the nature of the eerie, unknown factor of The X-Files. True, Mulder didn't die in the series (and I'm glad he didn't) but at times it's interesting to depict a different scenario. Thank you for reading. Anticipate an eerie and never-before-seen X-File in the future!


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